I sure hate to break down here.

Sep 23, 2009

I woke up this morning and felt like shit. Hell, I still feel like shit. My not feeling like myself is the understatement of the year. I just don’t feel right, not at all and I hate that feeling. I wish there was an easy fix, but sadly there isn’t, so I’ll just go about continuing to tell myself I’m find when deep down I know that’s not the truth at all. I wish it was, I really do.

I’m hoping the trip to SD next month will help in being myself back to life– because honestly if I’m honest with myself I just feel dead. Like every ounce of life has been sucked out of me and I have yet to discover where those feelings come from. I have some ideas, but they’re not exactly concrete. If there were ever a time that I’d want to run far away and be left alone, now would be it. I don’t want to be around people and that include the man I’ve sworn my life, love, and devotion too. I have no idea what that means.