
Sep 12, 2009
It’s been a pretty mellow day. I haven’t done much, but I did make cookies and afterwards I spent the majority of my time watching “Eureka”. Robby left to go camping today, completely pouty because I was apathetic about him leaving so obviously I didn’t want him to go. I was so upset that my trying to not rain on his parade was construed as my not wanting him to leave that I damn near lost it. Even after I told him that wasn’t the case, he was still pouty as he was heading out the door. So finally I called him on it and asked if that was why he was upset. He said that could be the reason but he wasn’t sure. I don’t know he is so strange, I swear. If I’m sad he feels bad for leaving, if I try and not rain on his parade, then I don’t want him to leave. It’s frustrating sometimes, but at least for the most part he seems to have gotten over it. Well I’m off to watch more Eureka, but until tomorrow!

Sep 11, 2009
Today hasn’t been a very good day. I don’t know what it is but I’m just not in a good mood. I haven’t been since I got up this morning. I thought maybe a nap would help, but it didn’t and now I’m frustrated by Robby’s complete lack of caring the his current class is what is going to determine whether or not he stays on academic probation. If he doesn’t pull his GPA up by the end of this class that means he’s out of class for 6 months, which means that fucks with his financial aid. His complete apathy is pissing me off. It’s like hello, this is serious, I know you’re burnt out but at least it’s only 5 weeks of class. Try 2 classes, every 9 weeks and then complain to me. Ugh. Just frustrated by him. It’s week 2 and he hasn’t done a single thing and he doesn’t care to either. I just want to shake him and tell him to wake the fuck up.
I’m thinking that maybe I’m just going to curl up in bed and get lost in book. I’m just not in a sociable mood right now and if I didn’t have to work tomorrow you can beat your ass I’d be drinking right now. Guess that’s not an option though. Oh well, there’s always Monday night. Even if that is 3 days away. Bleh. I’m not in the mood to write right now and given my frustration it’s probably best that I end this hear. Nothing product or good will come from this blog. *sigh*
EDIT: Maybe my attitude steams from today’s date. I guess we’ll see how I feel tomorrow. In any event, to those who lost their lives 8 years ago, your memory lives on in those of us who lived on after. I thank you for your sacrifice, it’s not one that will ever be forgotten.

Sep 10, 2009
They say that time is meant to heal, but it still hurts inside. I wish that none of this was real ’cause we’re so fair behind. I’ve been all alone, leaving me by your side. But it’s not too late, maybe we just needed time. Can we try to let it go? If we don’t then we’ll never know. I’ve tried to break through, but you know that it’s up to you.
“Break Through” – Colbie Caillat
Well my mother isn’t as bad as I thought. I think for the most part, I’ve outgrown the anger I had harbored for her when I was a teenager, though in a lot of aspects a lot of that was just that I was angry, period. When I saw her last my home situation wasn’t the best; I hated living with my dad’s girlfriend and her kids and I had so much anger and resentment built up that it was hard for me at that age to put that aside. I’ve grown a lot to say the least and I think that this experience really opened up my eyes to evaluate who I was in the past and how much I’ve grown.
So much is the case that after a brief talk with Robby, we felt it would be best if my mother came to live with us. My sisters originally wanted to shuffle her around– basically one of us would have her every 6 months, but after some thought I talked to both of them and said that would make no sense because then she’d have to see 3 different doctors so if something happened, that’s 3 doctors that needed to be contacted to advise on her treatment. Plus right now we have the most room for her and monetarily are better off. Now I wouldn’t have been so eager to do this if I didn’t have a back door. My sisters are more then willing to take her for awhile if I need a break so in the long run this is for the best I think.
I know a lot of people are shocked at my new attitude, but truth be told, it was time. I’ve held so much anger and hurt towards my mother that it’s also effected a lot of my relationships as well. I need to be better then that. I need to be able to raise above what she put me through and be a better person. It’s not going to be an easy journey and once we decide to have kids, one of my sisters will need to take her, but at this point, I’m content with where and how things are going. It’s time for me to grow up– and I am.

Sep 9, 2009
I miss those blue eyes, how you kiss me at night. I miss the way we sleep like there’s no sunrise, like the taste of your smile; I miss the way we breathe. But I never told you what I should have said, no, I never told you; I just held it in.
“I Never Told You” – Colbie Caillat
Well my mother is here now. I’m still not sure how I feel about that, but it annoys me how she feels the need to critique ever physical aspect of my because she’s just that shallow. I had forgotten how annoying that aspect of who she is has always been. It’s frustrating to me because hello, I’m no longer on the market– it doesn’t matter. Besides my husband loves me for me. I don’t need to fret about shallow aspects because to him they don’t matter and the fact that I don’t, is one of the reasons he loves me. Ugh, fucking irritating.
At this point I have no idea what is going on. I’m not sure how long she’ll be here with us, not sure how the hell she’s getting back to California (I’ll have to talk to my sister’s about that), nor do I know what’s going on with her in terms of immigration since apparently she has no identification as they took her IDs from her? That’s what she told my sister(s) at least which honestly makes no sense to me because why the hell would they release an individual without having a way to identify themselves. It’s frustrating for me because I already feel uncomfortable with her being here. *sigh*
Of all the damn states they had to take her to it just had to be Arizona. Now, don’t get me wrong I do believe everything happens for a reason, but honestly this was just completely unexpected and I’m still trying to deal with it. What makes it hard is not knowing specific time frames. I’d be more at ease if I just knew when she’d be leaving and it’s the not knowing that’s driving me insane. Alright, time to make some phone calls I guess.

Sep 8, 2009
It would appear that my internet decided to fail hardcore on me– of all days and thus the lovely Danika has offered to post this blog for me so I’d still be on track with Project: Blog. In any event I hope they fix this shit soon because I’m seriously not happy about it– though I admit I’m not as frustrated as I normally would be since in the 4 months we’ve been here this is the first time we’ve had any issues. Take that Cox!
Last night I promised you all a review of Aion which is the MMORPG I have been beta testing which officially launches on September 22, 2009. Now, I have to forewarn you all that I am by no means a game guru, however I have played World of Warcraft so this review will mostly be in comparison to it. Remember these are just my thoughts upon playing the game– I wouldn’t take this too seriously.
Upon first entering the game, you’re tasked with choosing which faction you’d like to play (I choose Asmodians), what class you’d like to be (I went with Scout), and then finally you stumble upon the character creation screen. Now this little bad boy can have someone there for hours as you get to literally customize almost EVERY single detail of your character. From the size of the head, body height, chest size (yes, you can put some knockers on your character), to tattoos, and more– if you’re quite the detailed individual, expect to be on this screen for some time. I, personally, thoroughly enjoy this aspect because it gets tiring looking at the same old boring character five million times, no matter how much you changed the color of hair, skin tone, etc to try and make yours “unique”.
Alright, moving on.
Once I finished creating my character, I entered the game and thought “oo, pretty”. I do have to admit that NCSoft knocked themselves out with this one and compared to Blizzard– the graphics are absolutely breathtaking. The one thing you must be wary of however is when you first start to play is to make a point to chang your controls– otherwise you’ll start out pretty frustrated if you’re used to maneuvering with your mouse. When I first started I could run holding both the left and right mouse buttons, but I could only run forward as it wouldn’t let me move my character. After googling to figure out how to fix it (which is to go into the menu and disable left click to change camera angle), the game was much more enjoyable.
Some of the major differences that I found within the game:
- Food/Water: Unlike WoW, food and water does not give you HP or MP. Rather it gives you buffs, depending on the item.
- HP/MP Regen: To regen HP/MP, you simply have to rest (hit the “,” button on your keyboard) and after a few seconds you’ll be back to full HP/MP– however in the higher levels this can take some more time.
- Loss of XP: You do lose some experience when you die HOWEVER you’re able to buy back that XP by speaking with a Soul Healer.
- The ability to fly: You get wings in the game (which by the way kickass) and you have the ability to fight in air. Flying is limited to begin with at 1 minute, but you have the option to go aerial heavy and get additional buffs etc, to increase flight time or you can choose to monopolize the ground.
- Travel: No mounts in the game. Travel is done through flight masters and teleports.
- Professions: You aren’t tied down to 2 professions. Aion allows you to pick up as many professions as you want.
- Channels: For those of you who played BC when it was first released, you probably remember a HIGH server population in the starter areas for BEs and Draenei as well as the inability to complete collector/killing quests because there were just too many players collecting and killing what you needed to. Aion has seemed to solved this issue by introducing channels on realms in the first two zones (Lvls 1-20) which allows you to select a less populated channel, increasing your ability to complete collector/killing quests substantially.
- Minor Additions:
-You can instantly locate the location for a quest item or individual by merely clicking on the item/person’s name and selecting locate. After which a map will pop up displaying the location you need to go.
-The “N” button will cause the map to become transparent so you’re still able to navigate while having your map out.
-No more errors about how you’re facing the wrong direction as the game auto corrects your stance which makes fighting much easier.
These are just some of the differences that I’ve noticed between World of Warcraft and Aion and I have to say I am completely happy with what Aion has to offer. Will I keep playing after open beta? Absolutely. Will I dump WoW for Aion? That’s yet to be determined.

Sep 7, 2009
Okay so after I blogged last night, about an hour after, Aion experienced a ton of lag which made the game pretty much unplayable. After trying forever to get it to work, Robby and I just ended up saying fuck it and logging out. I was really saddened by it because I wanted to get my wings last night, but obviously that wasn’t possible.
We logged on this afternoon and ran into the same exact issue. Obviously people were upset, but we kind of just barreled through it. I was reading the chat and noticed that some people were talking about how they had no lag whatsoever and come to found out that it really was a luck of the draw thing. If you were routed through the company’s routers in the U.S life was awesome. If you got stuck being routed to the company’s routers in Korea, well you wanted to chuck your computer out of the window. After reading that I decided to release and renew my IP to see if that would fix the problem. It did, but I’m not quite sure if that solved the problem because shortly after the lag disappeared.
After a couple of hours I finally got my wings and I have to say, I can’t be more thrilled! Wings are fucking awesome.
In my next post I will go more into reviewing the game, but for the time being, check out my wings!
Oh and I fail at life and have yet to upload my 365 Days project pictures– I’m two days behind.