Always Remember It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn

Feb 25, 2010

Last night was probably one of the crappiest nights of my life. I’m currently taking Fundamentals in Programming Using Algorithms and Logic and I’m not doing that great. Currently I have a C+ which for those who know me, is crap in my eyes. This class though, has been the hardest class I’ve had to take and as a result this is the second time I am taking it. Anyway, last night I was completing the homework assignment that was due (a peer review) when I happened to re-read the syllabus and realized that the assignment I turned in last Sunday, I had turned in incorrectly. I was supposed to post it in my individual forum as an attachment, however for some reason I goofed and posted it as post. This is a 90 point assignment. I resubmitted the assignment as an attachment last night; however if the instructor chooses to dock me on points (which I would understand if he did) the assignment would be 3 days late and I have no idea what points I would be entitled. If that is the case, it will drop my grade significantly, which means I will have to earn as many points if not all the points on my upcoming assignments to pass the class.

My biggest concern is the final, as it is worth 250 points. I’m afraid I’m going to fuck up royally on that and as a result fail the course and have to dish out $1,035 to retake it. I had a break down after the fact, went into the bedroom and cried. Robby sought me out and consoled me and we talked about a lot of things. One of which was that we were going to sit down on Saturday and work through my final, second of which is to get more serious about blogging and freelance writing so I can bring in a bit more money for us and eventually, hopefully start doing some product reviews like Jenn. I found out today that we are no longer allowed to jump (work when they’re busy and need extra people) so my decision to cut my hours to 20 hours to avoid having to work until 8:00pm, has backfired and as a result, the only way I can make up the hours is by picking up shifts. There are a few people who are willing to let me do this, however I’m not sure how long that will last once they see their paychecks. It’s frustrating and as a result I am frantically looking for a job that will work, given our situation. For the most part I have given up on the at home jobs as it seems the pay isn’t substantial enough to sacrifice a commute for (at least not until Robby starts making more money). In addition my working in town would mean that Robby and I can carpool which means it won’t take him as long to get to work or as long to get home– though that in itself is a problem. We only have one vehicle so I am limited to jobs around where he works, that are based around the same hours. It’s frustrating to say the least but I’m not giving up!

I have also decided to get more serious about web and graphic design. Years ago it was my passion. Now? I’m lucky if I open Photoshop within the month. I am determined though to see this through. I’m currently relearning CSS with the help of Whitters, who has been so kind to elaborate and explain what I do not understand. I am actually surprised at how quickly I’m grasping it; though that’s all in theory. We’ll see how it goes when I’m actually coding a WordPress theme by hand without referencing other site’s coding as examples.

Next on my list is PHP. I bought a book before we moved out here because I wanted to learn but have only picked it up once or twice, if that. I know it’s bad but I get so easily discouraged as I am so used to picking up on things rather easily that when I am not able to do so within a few tries, I give up. It’s a bad philosophy which I am attempting to change and given my new found attitude I think I will be successful. So my list of things to do and hopefully I will have accomplished some or at least started some by the next time I blog:

• Relearn CSS
• Design and code a WordPress theme freehand
• Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator- use them, damnit!
• Learn PHP

And most importantly… pass my fucking class. *facepalm*