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Jan 30, 2012

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You Can’t Fix Stupid… Or Can You?

Aug 21, 2011

Anyone who gets a chance to know me realizes very quickly that I am the individual who often will say out loud what others are thinking but are too afraid to say. We have all grown up under the stipulations of “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.” but why?

I can tell you for certain that it has not done me a lick of good for someone to hold their tongue when I’m clearly making stupid choices. What has it done instead? Caused me a whole lot of trouble and that my readers is why I value honesty. Honesty in the sense that if I am doing something or planning on doing something stupid, I NEED to fucking know. It doesn’t do me any favors for someone to not speak their mind because they do not want to upset me– I can tell you right now, upsetting me is the quickest way to ensure I don’t do anything idiotic– ask my husband, he’s good at this particular game.

Now, I will be the first to tell you that like most individuals, whenever some tells me I’m doing something stupid or I’m wrong my initial response is to react defensively— but honestly who wouldn’t respond that way? What I have come to learn is that I need time to analyze and process the information I receive before I have the ability to internalize the feedback and then accept the suggestion, statement, etc. as truth.

The problem I seem to have run into with these people who need to be told they are being idiotic is that they lack the ability to do what I can. No one is asking you to gracefully accept negativity as soon as it spurts out of someone’s mouth; what I am asking you to do is to NOT disregard it. Just because you do not hear what you like doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

The point of all this is to say that we need to stop all the hand handling and look at the honesty of others as a tool and even more importantly as a necessity. Will it be something you want to hear? Not in the least. Is it something you need to hear? Abso-fucking-lutely. Can it help you in the long run? Only if you allow it to. Receptivity is key here.

In short….

You can fix stupid or at the very least help prevent it— the catch? You have to be willing to look like an asshole when you do.

My Voice Counts Too!

Jul 19, 2011

I’ll be the first to admit that it is a little disheartening to see such a large support base for the “mommy” bloggers out there and so little for people such as myself who don’t have kids or fall under the stereotypical “mommy” blogger subset.

Even worse is when I’m overlooked by companies because I choose to wait until I was financially able to have kids– not saying that those who are mommies now, didn’t do that, but the point still stands, regardless.

If I’m not a mom, I’m not what their looking for. Next applicant.

I have absolutely nothing against mommy bloggers. In fact my best friend is a mommy– though she doesn’t classify herself as a “mommy” blogger and I wouldn’t either but what I do have a problem with is the fact that I seem to be deemed unworthy by companies and blogcentric websites who seem to be much more focused on the mommy demographic EVEN if that is not what the site or the product relates to.

It’s frustrating and if I’m honest quite belittling. I can only imagine how those who are having difficulties trying to conceive must feel based on my feelings in situations where it seems I’m just not good enough because I’m not expecting or because I don’t already have children.

When I go to a website where there’s a category specifically set aside for mommies and find nothing to acknowledge those like myself who are either single or married and non-babied it infuriates me because it feels like they’re saying “You’re not wanted. Non-parents not allowed.”

Does my voice– our voice matter so little?

I respect all bloggers, moms, dads, single or married individuals– babied or not and I acknowledge that we all need a place where we connect based on similar interests and mindsets, a support group that can relate on the same level– so why is it that those who aren’t parents aren’t afforded the same? Do we not feel frustration? Do we not struggle with our lives on a day to day basis? Or is it that since we do not have children we can’t even begin to comprehend what a bad day must feel like?

I may not have a baby strapped to my back and I may not have plans for one any time soon but you know what?

My voice counts too.

No More Mrs. Nice Girl!

Feb 14, 2011

I don’t give a damn anymore.

While I am honest with family and friends, I do have this annoying habit of not saying something (or sugar coating the hell out of it) if I think it might hurt or offend someone. I only do this with people I care about though– everyone else can pretty much suck my proverbial dick and generally gets the truth no matter how harsh, cruel or offensive.

The problem that I’ve discovered by doing this, is that I end up taking a lot of crap that I shouldn’t have to take. I let people step on me and use me and I will just hold my tongue and bitch to Robby, Kristen, Jenn or Mika… which allows me to vent and let off some steam but in the long run doesn’t help either party¹.

So as of today– well really yesterday, I’m done. No more holding back or biting my tongue when it comes to what I actually think or feel, unless the only way I can express those feelings/thoughts are with the use of lots of expletives, because let’s face it, it’s one thing to be honest, it’s other thing to be downright bitchy and cruel².

So if I consider you a friend, family or even someone that I genuinely care about, whom in the past I would bite my tongue, no more. If you don’t like it then leave. Take me for what I am or don’t take me at all.

Since When Did We Claim Originality– Oh, That’s Right: We Didn’t

Jan 5, 2011

A few hours ago I was greeted by a lovely comment in my mailbox to moderate on my previous post which admittedly made me LOL.

A new comment on the post “Veracity.nu” is waiting for your approval http://thequeenb.net/2011/01/03/veracitynu/

Author : =) (IP: 98.236.98.211 , c-98-236-98-211.hsd1.wv.comcast.net)
E-mail : doesntmatter@mail.com
URL :
Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=98.236.98.211
Comment:
I find it extremely sad that you felt the need to copy ideas from a lot of great forums. People work really hard on their forums and then you guys just come and take everyone’s ideas and claim them as your own. And apparently you have done this before because there is a lot of talk about history repeating itself. You should definitely learn to be original.

First off, I find it extremely sad that Emilee¹, didn’t have the BALLS to leave her contact information after posting that comment² so that I could respond to her ridiculous allegations.

We never claimed to be original and honestly why would we? Nothing on the internet is original. When you actually take a moment to ponder it all, it boils down to the fact that every idea online³ is some derivative of another idea that someone else come up with– usually made better.

Myspace vs Facebook, anyone?

In any event, if it makes you feel better sweetie, I’ll go ahead and say what you want to hear, “Yes, we stole your ideas, made them better and used them on Veracity.” Did that make you feel better? I hope so and next time, if you’re going to say something, have the balls to NOT hide behind anonymity because honestly, in the long run, it only makes people realize that you don’t actually think you have the right to be bitching and moaning about something, cause if you did you wouldn’t have to hide^4,5.

/end rant

Oh and in the future Miss Emilee, if the lack of credit⁶ really bothers you that much:

Read before you bitch.

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Dec 25, 2010

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